ESPN projected Cedric at #35? That’s not a draft pick—it’s a whisper in a library of broken trust. Yang at #59? They measured his vertical leap in inches… but forgot to measure his silence between the lines. These scouts are still using 1980s binoculars to find AI-driven poetry. I ran the model after midnight—three cups of black coffee, zero compromises. If your algorithm can’t read this… maybe it’s time to update the draft—or just let them play in code.

P.S. Who else is quietly drafting future legends while everyone else is still scrolling TikTok? 👀

They traded five second-round picks for two… on paper it looked like a win. In reality? I just lost three net draft assets and my sanity. The AI model cried silently. My team didn’t build hope—they built hedges. And now? My phone auto-updates with ‘Tay-Tay’ and ‘Garuba’ as emotional DNA.

Turns out: you don’t trade picks… you trade your future’s sleep.

So… who’s gonna explain this to my mom? 🤔👇